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A reader question: I love creamer in my morning coffee and I’m having a hard time going without it. Could you recommend a good substitute or healthy version of creamer so I can still get my coffee with creamer fix in the mornings?

My answer: Let’s be honest here, what you really want is to just keep on having your coffee creamer in the mornings, just the way you always have. The only reason you are even entertaining the idea of changing that is because you have an important health goal that is incompatible with coffee creamer. If you could have coffee creamer every day and be healthy and lean, then that would be the preferred option.

I don’t know if there’s a healthy version of coffee creamer, it’s not something I’ve ever bothered to try and find out, since I’ve never liked coffee in any form. If you can find one then I’m not against using it by any means, but I also think it might be a good idea to try to get away from the mindset where we try to replace certain things with other things that can be as close as possible to the original thing. Instead we can try to acknowledge that we need to do things differently and embrace that by simply doing different things! It’s uncomfortable at first but you’ll get used the different thing and before long you won’t feel like you’re missing out anymore. I sometimes think if you try to do something that’s very similar and almost as good as what you really want, then you’re just reminding yourself every day that you can’t have what you really want.

For many alcoholics, alcohol-free beer is helpful, but for many others it would only serve as a reminder that they’re not drinking the stuff they really want. It’s worth considering if the “healthier version” is right for you or if you’re better off leaving that habit in the past.